Hi friends. Welcome. Welcome back to my
channel.
So, today
I decided to
possibly end my time at Apple sooner
than I thought. And this could be
because of the last video I posted. This
could be because I raised my concern to
management. This could be because of a
lot of reasons.
But, I've decided to be remote for the
next 3 months because I physically and
mentally cannot be in the office.
I had my first panic attack yesterday
after asking my roommate, my
ex-roommate, to send me 3K
because she owes me 3K and we have a
split wise where it shows that she owes
me that much.
And I basically crashed out at her
yesterday and I haven't crashed out on
someone in on someone in months now. So,
that was crazy. And then today I crashed
out at my manager because he keeps
asking for me to complete tasks when I
after telling him about my issues, I was
out of office for a week. I was in SF
for a week. I was on vacation for a
week. And now I'm back and he's asking
why I only pushed two PRs in the last
month.
Sometimes I wonder if people
remember
that, you know, what happened in the
past can make an impact on someone's
present or future.
>> [sighs]
>> I went home today because I crashed out
at my manager. And that's something that
I never wanted to do cuz I wanted to end
my time at Apple on a clean slate
without any bridges burnt. But now my
face is broken out as you can see. It
hasn't broken out like this in a long,
long time. So, my body is reacting and I
have yoga,
acupuncture,
therapy,
um a facial,
my nails getting done, all in the next
week because I am not okay.
I'm currently wearing my intern hat
because I [ __ ] love this company for
internships. I'm wearing my surfing
shirt because I [ __ ] love San Diego
for surfing. And I have my National Park
cuz I actually do like America even
though I don't really like who's the
lead in the leadership right now of this
country.
But I love all these things and I'm
leaving it all because of three people,
H, B, and C.
Like
it's okay.
All the girls that I was friends with,
me and my old roommate that I introduced
have left me because they think I'm too
confrontational, which is valid.
I am paying rent late for the first time
in my entire life because I don't have
3K in my bank account because I decided
to participate in the stock market,
which honestly, what the [ __ ] I sold my
RSUs after one term of vesting and it
was 9K, which I think is pretty good. I
get eight of those.
Um but I will not be getting them
because I decided to leave Apple after
November.
And it just sucks because I love all
these things. This, this, this. Some
people here, some really some cute kids
out here, but I have to leave it all for
this job. So,
dear Apple, I fully automated my job. I
came here as an automation engineer and
I think I killed it because I automated
my role and some other people's roles.
So, why the [ __ ] do we have this team
now?
I I know. But one thing I will say is
that my skip manager, not my direct
manager, my skip manager and some other
people team people have been so
supportive, so so so supportive. I wish
I could say their names, but I cannot.
Um so I'm really thankful and obviously
I'm very thankful for my co- two
co-workers, T and A, and they both have
kids and I realized that people with
kids
I just relate to more. And especially if
they're girl dads or if they have if
they're a woman. So
I don't know. It's just like I see
patterns in my life and I'm just like,
you know what? Like it will be all okay.
Like I know God is answering my prayers
a lot and I have to go through a lot
this year to have those prayers
answered, but overall I'm really
thankful. I'm really really excited for
what's next and I'm really thankful that
I have a plan now.
Um I'm not ready to announce it yet, but
after November 1st, I will be
back home, which is Toronto. I am so
excited and just thinking about that
makes me cry and so that's why I know
like I'm making the right decision.
I'm going back to Toronto to my
beautiful incredible parents and my
amazing sister who's going to be on
exchange.
Um I'm going to be back to with her to
say goodbye before she goes on her long
trip. Um I I think I'm going to go visit
her, but I'm not sure yet.
Um but I'm so so so thankful for my
family.
They I was on a solo trip to Yellowstone
this past weekend and I told my parents
that four people canceled on me for very
valid reasons.
Um
very valid reasons. One of my friend's
dad got cancer, may Allah help him so so
much.
My second friend tore his arm while I
was teaching him how to surf. My third
friend got laid off from her company and
then yeah, those are the three people
that canceled on me. So, very valid and
I called my dad Friday morning when I
was there and he's like, "Oh, like I
thought you were going with this
person." I'm like, "No, like that's not
happening." He's like, "Okay, booking
tickets right now." And then the next
day, Saturday morning, they came and
spent two days with me and those were
such incredible two days. I love my
family. Like, they know about all my
problems and everything I'm struggling
with and my dad especially is just so
understanding cuz he is a manager, he is
in tech, he's been in tech for 30 years.
He can see, he knows how toxic these
types of environments are. Like, in
America people sell their souls to work
at these companies and he was never one
of those people because he he remembered
family comes first, God comes first and
I just love that about my parents
because both of them are in very like
good positions at their work and
inspired me and my sister to do good at
our jobs.
So, I look up to them a lot and yeah, a
lot of people say that I'm really funny
like my dad and I see it. Like, my dad
is honestly one of the funniest people I
know and my mom is the sweetest people I
know. So, I'm really thankful that I got
both of their best qualities, but I also
got both of their worst qualities, which
is my dad's hangriness and my mom's
anxiety. So, I'm very very thankful and
obviously always thankful for my sister
because
I love that woman.
But yeah, I just wanted to make this
video for people asking like if I'm
okay. I'm okay. I did go to the hospital
yesterday because of my panic attack,
but I'm okay. I am taking a couple days
to
and I'll be back in Toronto, so that's
really keeping me excited. What will I
do about my place? Je ne sais pas, but I
know I'll figure it out and that's why I
ask Allah. So, yeah. Thank you all so so
much and I hope you have an incredible
Thursday and see you all soon. Bye.